Hello FitChatt Friends!
I haven’t been posting for the past week because I was on vacation and I GOT ENGAGED!!! In all honesty, my original plan was to figure out ways to incorporate “working out” into my vacation, but when my fiancé (how fun is that to say?!) asked me to marry him, my whole vision for this past week changed. The fact of the matter was that I didn’t want to think about anything but spending time with our families and enjoying every possible second being together and just letting our hair down, which is exactly what I did.
With one possible exception.
During the work week, I spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing about my body. I’m not proud to say that, but it’s true. I stress about what I’m eating. I stress about my weight. I stress about whether or not I’m going to get to work out that day. I stress about how tight my clothes feel. I stress about every little thing relating to my body and it invades my thoughts over and over as the day rolls on. So, when I went on vacation, I was obviously a little wound up from all that worry and I started feeling the dread set in. You know the one.
I was dreading wearing my swimsuit.
There, I said it. I dreaded it. For the first time in my life, I had to go and order a bigger swimsuit for the season because my old suits were just too tight and unflattering. So, I ordered several suits online, because swimsuit shopping in the store is a straight up nightmare. Want to destroy your confidence? Go swimsuit shopping. I don’t care what size you are, buying a bathing suit sucks.
So, I got them in the mail and I thought a couple were cute, so I took them on vacation. One was way too big so I plan to return it and one I didn’t realize was too big until I was splashing around in the ocean and nearly lost the top in the surf. Live and learn. But, a couple I had purchased I really loved. They were cute and covered my whole torso, which I thought would make me feel confident. Wellllllll, they didn’t. I was panicked to walk around in my swimsuit.
But, you know what? A funny thing happened when my fiancé gave me that ring under the stars last Friday night and asked me to spend my life with him: I just didn’t care about what I looked like in a swimsuit anymore. I just didn’t. I cared about having fun splashing around in the ocean with him and our adorable nephews. I cared about having beers and laughing and playing cards with my future sister and brother in law. I cared about sharing meals with my future family. I cared about giving big hugs to my Mom and my brother and his girlfriend and my mom’s best friend. I cared about making new friends out of my future sister-in-law’s friends that were with us.
I cared about living out JOY.
And, from that point on, I had an absolute blast. I was so worry-free, so joyful, so thankful and so completely in the moment that I had no time whatsoever to be concerned with whether or not I looked bad in my swimsuit. I just couldn’t have cared less. It was a blessing.
So, I’m getting back to work tomorrow, and back to working hard to get myself back to the shape I want to be in. Sweating for the wedding, as they say. And, I’m hoping that some of that attitude sticks, because there’s nothing so freeing as just being right where you are, right now, enjoying every moment with people that you love. It’s a feeling that shouldn’t have to be reserved for one week in the summer. It should be the norm. The every day. It should be the way we feel without having to work for it. Because we are gifted with this life. It is our great fortune that we get to share our lives with the people that we love and I’d prefer to do that than to waste all my energy stressing over my weight.
So, tomorrow, when I’m feverishly working on my new food regimen with the help of my new Rockstar nutritionist (more on that later) and getting my butt back into the gym at 5am, I’ll also be thinking about how lucky I am to live this life and how much fun I have in this body every day. I am truly blessed and that is all I need to think about.
Hope you all have a FABULOUS week!
P.S. If you’re ever in the Seagrove area, check out Balance studio. It is a really sweet little space offering yoga, spin, pilates and bodywork. I took a pilates class with my mom there last week and it was awesome. I was both relaxed and pretty sore once it was over. I highly recommend!!